Who Do You Want to Be? Why Identity Goals Beat Outcome Goals Every Time

Hola and welcome back!

In coaching and goal-setting, we talk a lot about outcomes. What do we want to get? How do we get there?

But here’s the truth: there’s a better way to plan your goals.

Outcomes vs. Identity: The Weight Loss Example

Research shows that if you want to lose weight by June 1 - maybe because there’s a big event coming up where you want to look good - you’ll likely lose the weight, but you’ll almost certainly gain it back afterward.

Why? Because this is an outcome-based goal, tied to a specific result with a deadline. It’s focused on a finish line, not on lasting change.

Now, imagine instead that you want to lose weight to improve your overall health, mobility, and quality of life.

You’re far more likely to lose the weight and keep it off because your goal is tied not just to an outcome, but to an identity change. You’re not just losing pounds - you’re becoming someone who values health and moves well through the world.

Goals Built on Identity Stick

While there’s nothing wrong with outcome goals, it’s far more effective to focus on who you want to be.

• Do you want to be an early bird instead of a night owl?

• Do you want to be an industrious, productive person who uses every moment well?

• Do you want to be a dependable resource to your family, more accessible and present for them?

When you position your goals around who you are and who you want to be, the outcomes become much stickier. They’re no longer just things to check off a list; they become part of your identity - and that’s powerful.

The Hard Truth: Identity Feels Fixed

This is tough for us because we naturally focus on external factors - things we think we can influence, like deadlines, results, or tasks.

But for most of us, our identity feels set in stone: “I am an introvert, and I can never be anything else because that’s how I’m wired" or “I’m just not a morning person” or “I’m bad with money.” Sound familiar?

But here’s the thing: you can adopt new identities. You can change behaviors and become someone different if you choose to.

It’s about looking beneath the surface - at the root cause and the root goal of what you’re trying to accomplish.

The Power of Identity-Based Goal-Setting

Focusing on who you want to be long-term, who you want to evolve into, is proven to be more effective.

When you decide “I am a healthy person” or “I am a person who manages money well,” you start to live those truths. You make choices that align with that identity, and over time, your habits, outcomes, and even circumstances begin to shift naturally.

It’s OK to Change - In Fact, It’s Expected

So as you think about your goals, it’s OK to focus on outcomes, but also ask:

Who is the person I’m trying to become?

If you’re saying, “I’m good the way I am,” I beg to differ. LOL. There’s no such thing as a perfect person, which means there’s no such thing as a perfect identity. You do not have it all figured out. Neither do I. And that’s completely natural and completely ok.

We are all in a constant state of improvement, and there’s always something we can work on and toward.

Your Identity Can Evolve Over Time

Your goals and identities can change over time, too.

Maybe right now, you’re focused on being more frugal to pay off debt. You adopt thriftiness as part of your identity.

Fast forward a few years: you’ve paid off your debt and built some savings. Now, you want to be more generous, giving, and helpful with your resources.

You can adopt that new identity - generous - without abandoning thriftiness entirely. It’s just a shift in focus.

The point is, you can change your identity over time and in different ways. There’s no need to worry about being locked into your goals for life.

This Is Your Life, Your Identity

This is your life. These are your goals. This is your identity.

You are created special. You are created unique. You were created to change and grow.

It’s OK to change your mind. It’s OK to alter your identity. It’s OK to become someone different.

There’s no one like you, and no one can replicate what you do or what you excel at.

Embrace the Journey of Continuous Improvement

Embrace the journey. Embrace continuous improvement.

Understand that it’s not just outcomes, circumstances, behaviors, and habits that we can change.

We can change ourselves.

And from that, change flows outward into every other layer of our lives.

I hope this helps you think differently about goals and identity.

What identity goals have you set? How have you gone about achieving them?

Drop me a note - I’d love to hear your story!